The unexpected...

So, I am slowly coming to the realization that things don't always go the way I think they will. Let me explain.

1.) We were surprised to find out, almost a year ago now, that we would be having another sweet baby. (few tears shed by me only for a few days after we found out.)
2.) We then found out on Oct 23rd (2 weeks before my due date) that my sweet baby was breech, and I was dilated to a 5. Therefore, it was imperative that I have a c-section the next day. I never expected to have to have a c-section. The thought never crossed my mind. (more tears shed by me.)
3.) At around 2 1/2 months of age, we discover that Eisley had lost weight, and we needed to start supplementing feedings with formula. (again, more tears.) I thought nursing was going so much better than with Mia, so this killed me to not know what the issue was.
4.) At 3 1/2 months of age, Eisley was gaining weight, slowly though, so I had a decision to make. I began praying very hard as to whether to continue nursing and supplementing (now with more concentrated formula) or just quit nursing all together and allow her to be on full formula to gain weight quickly. I decided I would do this. I was going to wean her off gently so that it was less painful both physically and emotionally on me. (again, many, many tears.)
5.) The same day of this decision, Eisley took it upon herself to wean herself by not wanting to nurse at all. (she had done this once before when we initially started supplementing. The lactation consultant said that babies are very smart and know where they are getting the most full. We persevered through that time initially, and she began nursing and taking a bottle again.) But this time, knowing I was going to be weaning her, I decided to let it be, and just suffer through the pain of quitting "cold turkey." (Once again, many tears shed because I didn't have the week long good-bye to nursing like I had planned.) Oh well.

All to say, things don't necessarily go the way I expect, and I will cry about it. But I am learning to praise the Lord for successes, rather than get too bothered by things that don't go like I plan. Not that my expectations were bad at all. They were completely innocent, and good expectations. But I just won't allow Satan to rule my emotions. I mourned my losses, the loss of a natural delivery and the loss of a year of nursing my sweet baby, but I now move on. I move on to a healthy, quickly growing baby girl. Formula is easy, and convenient, so thats nice. I do know now, that someday with our third baby we can watch growth more quickly, and hopefully he/she will be a much aggressive eater so that he can attain the hind milk. Its all good now. I still get a little sad when I think about it, but really, I'm good. I will say one thing, cabbage leaves definitely help a girl who is quitting nursing "cold turkey" as strange as it sounds! :) Bring on the weight Eisley!!!